Did I Really Say That?!?
I want you to like at that face!! LOOK AT IT!!!! How could the following words come out of that mouth?!?!
Who: Family( Dad, Mom, Brother Tiant, Cousin Marcus,and Me)
What: Disney Land
Where: Orlando, Florida
Why: Family vacation
How: Boeing 757 airplane(fuck my life, hate to fly)
Location of Incident: Delta Airlines Flight, four hours!!!
So, it was a long four flight which in kid time is 15 hours, and I was stuck in the middle seat between two boys!! One of them was, blowing their funky breath on me and the other was pointing his finger in my face while whispering, “But, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you!” Literally, if I would have blinked my eyelashes would have made contact with the bastard.
Anyhoo, I was bored as hell & tired, but immediately became so happy when we landed and pulled up to the gate. WOOOHOOOOO the torture is over! It’s time to get my Mickey, beach, and playing on… AND then,there it was, that sound we all know that ‘ding’ that lets you know you can get up and get off the damn plane.
Well, my mom got us seats in the back of the plane, like row 42 seats A-D, no judgment Mom, you did your best! I got out of my seat and moved in front of her, and for the life of me I cannot understand what the hell is taking so long. I mean, you grab your bags and move along people!! Apparently ,folks wanted to take their sweet time and that shit doesn’t fly with a 7-year-old.
So…I turned around to face my mom and in my big girl voice (LOUD) I said ” Mom,what’s taking so long?!?” She said, “lower your voice!” I replied, “ But, I feel like such a SLUT!!!!!”
NOW, I know what you’re thinking. What a fast ass little girl she must be, but I swear, I had no idea what the word slut meant. I watched a ton a tv and picked the word up from there and I thought, I’m uncomfortable, super excited to almost be off of the plane, and I get to see Mickey, surely feeling like a slut is the appropriate word/emotion, so why not!!
As soon as I finished the “I feel like such a slut”, my mom grabbed the thinnest flesh on my arm, took her two fingers, and pinched as hard as she could. I deserved it, I know, but my little heart was broken, because I didn’t understand what I did. Literally, everyone is on the plane staring at the demon child yelling slut, but screw them-I DIDNT KNOW. I proceeded to cry, my mom explained everything later, and I’m happy to report that I havent felt like a slut since then.
Later that day…